Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
