can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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