You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
