I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet