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She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
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