In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.