My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.