you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize