I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm just crazy horny about you
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I think I just shit out all my problems.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
