we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
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i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
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A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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