if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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