franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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