Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
