There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
pop tarts are not kleenex
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
This is the high leading the old right now
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
