Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
