dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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