Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
we made out on top of his cat.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
