I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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