Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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