I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize