Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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