Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
