Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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