We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I AM VODKA MAN
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
