I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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