I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
