I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
