Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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