Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
