I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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