i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize