i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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