friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
