My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I could fuck to npr.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
