I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
