There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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