i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
