3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Randomize
