I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
