Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
