Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
