Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
