grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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