There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
