Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
