your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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