There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
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We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
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Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize