I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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