You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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