shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
