That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
