I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
