Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
