4 words: hood of his car
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
