The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
