Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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