i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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