a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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