i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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