Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
