Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize